Ali was my sister-in-law. I remember the first time of meeting her – I found her a little scary and maybe a bit stand-offish. Took me a wee while to understand that Ali was a very self-contained person who did not need or seek approval. Over the years of knowing her I came to realise that she was pretty disinterested in status, educational attainment or social posturing. What she was interested in was doing things; with Sam, with her mum and her sisters and with her nieces and nephew. She kept her focus on the sightseeing trips, the golf, the bridge club, her home and garden and her business, not to mention her pups. Ali was a ‘do-er’ not a ‘dweller’. She knew what wanted and worked hard to achieve it. I remember the ‘end of year’ hours she kept, although she was always reticent to discuss the considerable success built in her legal career. Ali had extremely high standards. At a BBQ she and Sam organised just a month before her death she was so so frustrated at my substandard work on the salad dressing, the same frustration I witnessed one Christmas time aimed somewhat more vocally at Sam around his attempts to pack away her treasured collection of decorations. Ali was kind and generous and always showed appreciation. Even during her illness she would take the time to phone or send a card to acknowledge little presents or help. I was so inspired when, around the time of her diagnosis, one of her main concerns was the effect her situation would have on Katie and Eliots exam preparations. It was not really until Ali became ill and slowed down that I feel I got to know her a little – and we spent a few lovely sunny afternoon visits in her garden and mine. She also treated Eliot and I to afternoon tea at Cameron House. Watching Sam and Ali deal with the terrible disease always reminded me of the lovely Kathy Mattea song called ‘I wear your love’ for indeed Ali wore Sams love just like a suit of armour. She often said to me ‘I just want Sam’ and he surely rose to the challenge from day one. He educated himself and acquired all the nursing skills to do every task of the physical care he possibly could. He was more creative and resourceful than we could ever have imagined, treating everyone around Ali like his staff – taking it upon himself to coordinate, motivate and challenge so that Ali could have the best and be protected from negativity and poor standards. He shied away from nothing and managed to bring humour to the most dire situations. That sense of humour that landed him Ali in the first place! I was so proud of him. I wish I had got to know Ali sooner. I wish I had heard her play piano and violin. I wish cancer had not taken her out of our lives. Don't you know can't you see head to toe it is covering me Like a stone the oceans's tide nothing can hurt me or turn me aside For I wear your love thrown over my shoulders like a blanket of down I wear your love like a badge of devotion of love and beyond On the chilliest night though I travel light It is always enough for I wear your love